As I sit here having returned from 4 days away at Zone PC Jamboree I am reflecting on what has been a great opportunity for me to practice ‘bringing myself back to balance” and helping my children do the same.

This term is something I use in relation to virtually everything. It is finding the balance between yin and yang, high and low, lots or none. It is important in riding, horsemanship, healthy eating, healthy habits, emotional intelligence and virtually everything in between.

With nearly 200 riders competing for a few handfuls of ribbons there is inevitably going to be winners and losers when it comes to results. We can throw the expression “It’s not about winning, but having a go” around until we are red in the face, but what does is really mean?

For me personally, there is more to it than just having a go. Otherwise we would all only try just enough to get by and not strive for excellence. I am a firm believer in Theodore Roosevelt’s quote

 “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

The gladiator in the ring didn’t just wander on in and have a bit of a go. He dared greatly.

Records get broken by daring to dream. Without failure and then persistence and grit we would never to get to see what is really achievable for a human body and spirit.

Competition is important - it keeps us pushing through the hard days and knock backs just to do better that you did the time before. It drives us to continue on a journey even through uncertainty and fear. It gives us something to keep moving towards. I am up for all of that. Every last little piece of it - but my emotional state is not dependent on the outcome.

As I think over the week with my children, there were many ups and downs. Heartbreaks and highs. I had to keep reminding myself not to get caught up in the emotion of the experience or hold onto it for any length of time.

Whether it was a rail at the last fence, dropping a peg or missing out on the jump off by one time penalty, the kids were disappointed. Thats OK. They had goals, and they had dreams. That particular dream didn’t come to fruition but that’s OK. It was not a time for me to tell them what they did wrong or make them feel unworthy but it was also not a time for me to try and make them feel better by making excuses or giving them something else to think about.

All I could do for them was to say “Yep, that sucked. I’m feeling with you”

I gave them a hug and let them feel the emotion and then let it pass when they were ready. If given the space to do so, these emotions can pass in only a few minutes without tears or tantrums just deep breaths. They simply breathed through it and let it go before it built up and became unmanageable or caused them to over react for the event that had unfolded.
When they had fully experienced the emotion we could then look at what we might do in the future to better prepare and come up with a plan to improve. It was no big deal. Just back to the drawing board.

The same went for the moments where they succeeded beyond our expectations. The wins and the super performances. I also had to not get caught up in the emotion. I felt the pride or excitement for them in the moment and then I too let it pass and bought myself back to balance.

I encouraged the kids to do the same. Enjoy the moment. Feel the thrill and excitement, then let it pass, breathe and be grateful. Then back to the drawing board.

I made a point of not getting caught up in the ups and downs. It wasn’t always easy. Especially when my little people were hurting, it is so hard to not try and make it better for them! But they do need to learn how to move through the pain and the disappointment themselves. They need to see it as part of the process.

Pain, fear and disappointment are not negative emotions.

They are simply emotions.

They are part of a human experience that we have on a regular basis.

Our emotions need not be dependant on an outcome, on a ribbon or achievement of our goals.

Why wait to be happy when ……..

Why look to outside influences, people, places or things to bring us joy when we can experience it anytime we choose to irrelevant of external factors.

When we work from a place of quiet stillness, and move easily and effortlessly through a full range emotions nothing gets stuck. We can choose where our balance point is.

This way we have a clearer head, become more compassionate and able to be fully present for our 4 legged or 2 legged learners.

This creates courage, resilience and perseverance in our kids and horses. They are more willing to dare to fail, and to keep getting back up. They know that we are a balanced and centered place to come to where they can safely manage their emotional and physical state. There is no shame or pressure here…. just space.

As a coach, you are free to draw on any emotion required to best serve your rider. You can create a space and an environment to nurture growth. You are available and present to offer the best part of you that is required at the time. Your riders will Thank You for it and their results will speak for themselves.



Here’s to finding your balance point
Annyka xx

If you are looking for some space to feel, or find your self stuck in an emotion, I am here for you.
No judgement, just space and opportunities to express.

Step into the arena and get in touch x

So, the school holidays are here. For those of us in the Southern Hemisphere the longer days and warmer weather are drawing us outside for longer. If you are a fair weathered rider you might have recently bought your horse back in to work and ready to get out and about. We have many more hours available for us to rider so how can we keep it interesting and still be progressing towards our goals. If you are in the Northern Hemisphere perhaps you are looking for things to do to keep the sessions fun and engaging while stuck in the indoor.

Here are a few tips to keep the motivation up for both you and your horse.

Create a challenge with a friend
Get a group of like minded friends together and each week one person in the group puts forward a challenge. You can use an object (like a cone/pole) that everyone in the group will have, or something you can do in the arena. Have someone video yourself completing the challenge and post it on a group page along with the rest of your friends.

Look for new things to try on the internet
We are all guilty of spending some time on the internet doing very little except for scrolling through facebook or youtube videos. Why not use it to your advantage and look for new things you can try with your horse. Look for things that are out of your comfort zone, or unfamiliar to you. You may even look at pages from other disciplines for inspiration. Look for something small that you can start to practice right away.

Have a go at a different discipline
If you are a show jumper, check out some reining patterns or horseball. If you are a dressage rider, try some tent pegging. Google equestrian sports worldwide, watch a few videos and then come up with your own version of how you can practice some of those skills. You can even look for a club in an area near you and go to a practice day and try something new. For a good laugh check out... buzkashi. I don't suggest finding a dead goat to use but there are plenty of alternatives

Place 10 objects in the arena and create a game using them
Grab some friends and each person bring an object or two. The challenge is to find as many things to do with each object as possible. You can pass it, have the horse go over it, put their foot on it, balance it on the horses rump while walking....anything you can think of.

Go bareback
Sometimes just the experience of sitting on a horse bareback can be scary. You don't need to line up facing a jump to start to feel insecure, it can wash over you the minute the horse takes an initial step forwards. However that is not a reason to avoid bareback as riding without a saddle is hugely beneficial for both horse and rider. It develops a better seat and balance, and helps the horse to relax connect more with the rider. Whether you are up to simply walking a few steps or cantering a full jumping course spend some time bareback. Your horse will thank you for it.

Ride in a halter
Obviously if your horse has never been ridden in a halter before it is a good idea to start in a small yard before progressing into a bigger space, but riding in a halter alone helps to accentuate out other aids (legs, seat, weight etc) and improves communication with the horse. It is also pretty fun and liberating. You will be suprised how well your horse accepts being ridden in a halter. If you are feeling ready, and your horse is calm try riding with a pieve of string around their neck only. Keep the halter or bridle on so you have something as a back up if the horse need some helps but see how you go. It will give you an opportunity to clarity your seat aids.

Ride in a different paddock, on a hill
If you are lucky enough to have a large area in which to ride, then take advantage of the different spaces. It is easy to get into the routine of riding in the area or one certain part of the paddock but if there are other options take them. Use it as an opportunity to mentally prepare for a competition where the horse is in an unfamiliar space and is being asked to perform as well as he does at home. If the space you have at home is in on a hill... great! There are huge benefits to doing your flatwork session on the side of a hill. If it is noisy... great! Ride in your comprtable area first and then go to that space after he is calm and do your cool down and finish in that area so he thinks of that area as relaxing. Look for all the weird places to ride. It will force you to be creative in what you are asking of your horse.

Have an outcome but be prepared to shift your focus if necessary
Having goals and outcomes for our sessions are important, but so is adapting that outcome depending on what comes up as your progress through your ride. Think of it this way, your outcome for the ride maybe to improve the canter, walk through transitions from left to right but you horse is becoming anxious and tense. You will then need to chunk the exercise down and find what part is causing the problem. Once you know what is happening you may spend the next little while helping the horse to improve that aspect before putting it all back together. You may notice that your horse is dropping his shoulder to the right, as you prepare for the upward transition back to canter so you may then work on exercises to straighten him. There are many exercises to help. If you are not familiar with them, google different exercises and go through and try each one. Once he is straighter then you can retry the canter walk though and notice how much easier the horse finds it. Every movement or skill has several other skills intertwined into it. It is like an orchestra. Listen to your horse and you will start to hear whether it is the violin, the drums or the bass that needs a bit of work.

It doesn't matter what discipline you ride, having a clear set of goals and outcomes is vital and each session is designed to move you and your horse a little closer to that each time. Laser focus is great but if it is to rigid it can become uninspiring for the horse and they shut down and develop resentment and frustration so to avoid that have some fun as well. You can use all of these suggestions in such a way that they continue to move your forward towards but with some imagination and inspiration which will keep both you and your horse coming back for more!

When you are enjoying yourself the connection with your horse deepens, and you find the flow. Solutions come to you and your aids are fluid and clear. Your horse is well aware how you are feeling each and every time you are with him so taking to the time to be in the right state of mind is worth it. Be creative, and enjoy.

Annyka x

I've just finished a week working at a club in China where on arrival I noticed the ponies were considerably more spooky than most. The coaches needed to move quietly around them and it didn’t take much for the ponies to get a fright and jump away which in a riding school environment is not ideal.

I began by watching the coaches interacting with the horses both on the ground and while being ridden,  and other than being a bit more cautious I didn’t see anything to tell me the ponies were being roughly handled or spooked in any way.

I did notice though, the coaches hardly used any games equipment, cones and didn’t even own any jump rails. It might mention this is a beautiful facility, with immaculately turned out ponies and all the newest gear but the arena was stark and spotless.

The answer became obvious when a coach mentioned he was having trouble with one of his students who had fallen previously due to the pony spooking. She was very frightened and refused to trot. In conjunction with some mindset strategies, I suggested some games to bring the fun back into riding and gave an example of having the rider pick up and place a plastic cup from one pole to another.

Oh, we can’t do that was the reply. The pony will spook. And there lies the problem…

Let me explain it to you a little more.

Imagine a pony who has had a normal start in life. He can handle some spooky objects but hasn’t been exposed to much.

One day a rider picks up piece of paper from mum and it spooks the pony and he jumps to the side.

Now we are going to look at this two ways: Rider A and Rider B

Rider A thinks that was scary. My horse can’t be ridden with paper. He is too scared. He never picks up a piece of paper on the pony again.
Rider B thinks, my pony didn’t like that much. I had better help him get used to and less scared of the paper and goes to work exposing the pony slowly to the paper until he can accept it confidently.


Next both Rider A and Rider B are both offered a drink on their pony. When they reach over to take the cup the pony snorts and steps sideways showing he is worried and about to jump away.

Rider A thinks my pony got a fright with the paper last time, so will probably get a fright with the cup so I can’t pick this cup up from him so I had better get off or not take the water.
Rider B thinks, my pony is worried about the cup. I had better help him to become confident while I reach out -  before picking the cup up and make sure my reins are short and I am ready to help him if he gets a fright when I do. The rider then takes a few minutes to help the pony relax while holding the cup and makes a point of picking up and placing the cup back down several times to ensure the pony is fully confident.

Lastly both riders are asked to join in on a game where they need to pick up a an object from a drum.

Rider A chooses not to join in as he says, my pony doesn’t like things being carried on him.
Rider B chooses to practice picking up the object first while the pony is relaxed then when he is happy joins in on the game and has a great time.

If I had to put a young rider on one of the two ponies I know what one I’d choose. Just think if the rider got hung up in a stirrup or took their jacket off while riding one could be very dangerous as he would be spooky and reactive and the second would more likely wait and be accepting and calm.

Same pony in the beginning, but in a short space of time - two very different ponies at the end.

The same goes for us humans. I was reading an interesting article yesterday and it was talking about how the situation is created where some have major anxieties about leaving the house.

It doesn’t take much to get from an initial mild panic attack in the supermarket to full blown can’t leave the house terror and this is very real for many.

It starts by a young person not being taught by their parents how to handle small setbacks and problems with emotional intelligence and resiliance. The child’s problems are often solved by the parent stepping in and trying to rescue the child. The problem with that is the child never learns how to rescue themselves so when there is no longer someone there to rescue them they do not know how to themselves and can’t cope.

Often a young person in this situation will then be involved in a dependant relationship with a partner who follows on from the parent and continues to save them, but if that too fails and the partner is no longer around it can cause huge anxieties leading to high anxiety levels.

Only one mild stress or panic attack in the supermarket, may lead to more larger panic attacks as they start to worry about having another panic attack in public. This leads to another panic attack, and another to where they become so worried about having the panic attack that they have one just thinking about leaving the house.

This is a big generalisation but you seem my point

This of course can be solved, but it takes some time to learn how to manage their emotions and start to work through, process and move past those feelings.

It all starts the same way as the pony in the beginning.

When we are challenged we’ll either -

Step away from it and avoid any further challenges that look even mildly similar. As we lose confidence in what we can handle we take on less and less until we quit altogether

Or…

We continue on and do what we need to do to get to where we can handle it. We become confident at it. The next time a similar or larger challenge come up, we take that on too and learn what we need to in order to succeed.

In a short space of time one will be complaining that it is all too hard and their life is difficult, and the other will be handling success and abundance.

Both started with the same challenge in the beginning…

What will you do when the next challenge comes up?

It is not uncommon when coaching to find yourself in a position where a student is unable to complete a task or exercise that is being asked of them. I use this checklist to make sure we are finding the true cause enabling the learning to continue, and the horse and rider to build on their confidence, connection and performance.

I think of it in three stages. First the coach, then the rider, then last the horse, in that order as rarely is it the horses fault.

Here are the steps I use when a rider is having trouble completing a task.

1. Do they understand the skill. (Coach)
2. Can they physically compete the task? (Rider)
3. Is there a belief that could be preventing them from trying? (Rider)
4. Do they understand the skill? (Horse)
5. Can they physically compete the task? (Horse)
6. Is the horse responding correctly to the aids? (Horse)


1. Do they understand the skill?
This is where I check in on myself and make sure I have explained what I am asking well enough and that they have interpreted what I am asking correctly. I often ask the rider to describe back to me what it is that we are asking for so I can check in that we are both looking for the same thing.
I might clarify some of the language I am using i.e; how “big” is a big circle, what a square corner looks like, where exactly we are wanting to place the horses feet etc
This is a good time to look at other ways of describing the exercise. Perhaps have another rider show them, walk it yourself, hop on the horse and complete the exercise, draw it in the surface of the arena, draw it on your phone, show and example of it on your phone.

2. Can they physically compete the task?
Do they have the balance, co-ordination, skill level and strength to do what I am asking? Do I need to adapt the exercise? Have I explained the aids required well enough and are they using their body in the correct position. For example, a rider is having trouble stopping in a straight line after trotting through a series of trot poles. I will check in first they know what I am asking, and then I will make sure they are using their position to the best of their ability.

3. Is there a belief that could be preventing them from trying?
This one is surprisingly common and gets overlooked more often than not. I will give you a few examples. Imagine a rider who no matter how many times you tell them, won’t shorten their reins. They will often have a belief that having short reins means they are pulling on the horses mouth. They don’t like the idea of having hard hands and pulling on the mouth so they won’t shorten the reins. If you as the coach are then able to show them how by having short reins actually makes your hands softer and lighter they they will then want to shorten their reins as it is moving towards something they believe in.
Another example is if a family member who the child looks up to immensely, has told the rider to always push their feet forward to prevent them getting bucked off. When the coach comes along and adjusts the riders position so the legs are more under the body the rider will not want to hold that position as it goes against what they have been told by someone they respect greatly. To help them I find the best way is to acknowledge that what the family said is very true and correct in some situations, however in this situation a more upright position will give you better results. By acknowledging the family member’s information as still being true (or at least has a purpose), the rider is not being asked to go against what he believes, or disagree with someone they respect but rather adding more information to what they already know.

Then I go back and ask the same questions of the horse

4. Do they understand the skill?
I always ask this if my horse is having trouble. I need to check in with the horses body language, emotions and reactions to see if there is some confusion in what is being asked. If necessary I will break the skill down into small chunks and go through each part and see where the confusion might be. For example, if the horse is having trouble with a leg yield, I  might go back and check in with a turn on the forehand, and a turn on the hind quarters and see if there is any confusion there. The idea is that we treat it like a doctor would try and find what is the underlying cause of an illness. They need to rule certain factors out first.

5. Can they physically compete the task?
We have already checked in the previous steps to make sure the rider is sitting correctly, using the correct aids, and made adjustments where necessary so give the horse the best opportunity possible so now we need to look at the horses body.
Much like humans, we need to make sure the horse is physically able to complete the exercise. Do they have the strength, fitness, balance and co-ordination? Is there a pain issue that we are not aware of? Is the saddle fitting correctly? If jumping, are the fences the correct distance? Has the progression been such that the horse is mentally and physically prepared for the exercise. Do we need to lessen or lower the effort required of the horse so they can achieve the outcome.
It is important we nurture the horses confidence and work ethic so make adaptations here to help the horse enjoy his work and find reward in challenges.

6. Is the horse responding correctly to the aids?
This is another often overlooked question but is actually quite common. Examples of this is a horse who pushes into the sideways aids, or resents the forward aid and actually slows down when the leg is closed on the horse. It is imperative we check in to make sure the horse is positively offering appropriate responses to cues. If not, we need to help the horse understand the response we are asking for. If I get to here and find an inappropriate response then I go right back to step 1 and start again with the new question in mind.
Other things to look at here is whether there has been a previous experience that could be worrying the horse or causing him to overreact? What do we know about the horses past that would influence his decisions. Was he asked to jump fences to big to quickly and lost confidence? Had he been ridden by someone who gave mixed signals? Has his diet changed? Is his paddock mate screaming from the stables?
These questions need to be taken onto consideration and responded to accordingly as they could ultimately affect the horses ability to perform the required task. Make any adaptations necessary. Simply understanding these factors and taking them into account allows us to look at the horses behaviour from a different perspective becoming more compassionate and understanding. This requires us to coach from a more creative and intuitive place where we can find solutions that enhance both the performance and connection of the horse and rider combination.

These questions are going through my head all of the time, throughout every lesson. It is not something that takes hours. It is part of the coaching process. I am consistently checking in to ensure optimal learning is taking place. Questions and answers come in and out of my mind. The lesson will adapt and evolve as the horse and riders needs evolve and adapt. Yes, I have an outcome for every lesson, but there are many and varied paths we can take to get there.

I believe the most important thing is if a rider is struggling to perform an exercise we look at ourselves first, then help the rider before moving onto the horse and remember:

We don’t have the right to influence a horse until we are first in rhythm with him.

Happy coaching xxx

So, my flight to Hong Kong got cancelled. That sucks, but there have been a few benefits.

Firstly, I got an overnight stay and full meals in the Rydges World Square in the centre of Sydney which led to a stroll through Hyde park while waiting for my rescheduled flight 24hrs later.

That led me to an interesting conversation with a busker. A conversation that has been coming up for me lately so I though I’d share it with you.

I noticed that although he was a wonderful guitarist and singer many people were walking right by him with out even such as a smile or acknowledgement. I sat down on the kerb for about 15 mins thoroughly enjoying his music and watching the reactions of various passers by. Many were virtually oblivious to him and others stayed and listened, others danced with their children and a few stopped to chat and lob a few dollars into his guitar case.

When he was finished his set he came over and we started chatting. I asked him how he feels when some pass by without acknowledging him. He described it like this.

“What I do is like a gift. Playing music is like offering anyone who wants to listen a gift. Whether they choose to take that gift and let the music into their soul, or simply let the sound pass them by in the wind is up to them. I doesn’t affect how I feel about playing unless I choose to. For example, if someone walks past and ignores me I choose not to allow their gifts of anxiety, stress or indifference into my space. I simple let them move through the air and dissipate. However, if someone comes up and talks with me and tells me how much they have enjoyed my songs, I take their gift of gratitude. If another is dancing, I take their gift of joy. I allow that to energise me. What energy I choose to allow as a gift is up to me”

We talked for a while. He was a pretty interesting dude. I thanked him for his gifts, and went along with my walk. The conversation I had with my son earlier in the week came straight to mind as another way of looking at gifts was my way of helping him manage a rough patch at school.

He was talking to me about some comments another student had made to him. He felt embarrassed, and offended. I started the conversation by handing him the only thing I had close by - a tube of hand cream. He took it. I explained that even though I had offered him the gift of hand cream, he was not obliged to take it. He could choose to say “Thank you, but no thank you”

The comments or remarks of another is like being given verbal hand cream. You can choose to take those words, put them into your pocket and hold them close. You can rub them on your body and feel the words as they soak into your skin. Or you can not -

You can choose to in your mind say “Thank you, but no thank you” and let the words float into the air and away. You are not obliged to take the gift. They can keep their gift of those words. That doesn’t mean that you need to be angry at them, but rather be compassionate in knowing that they more than likely put in their pocket gifts of negative words from another. They have not yet learnt how to say “No thank you”.

I said to my son, that when you are content with who you are inside and know that you are worthy, loved and enough you have the strength to choose your own gifts. Gifts that you can receive and those that you give to others. There is power in that.

I see this in coaching and riding too. I see my coaching as a gift (not in the arrogant, special kind of way, but metaphorical). I am offering something of myself to another to help them grow. That is all I can do. I can’t make them take it. To another, sometimes my gifts may look like hard work, something that is difficult or challenging. There are times when I will do this to provoke them to question what they truly believe and help them find the strength and resilience that they don’t yet know they have.

If a rider chooses not to put that into their pocket, it is totally OK. I am not offended or disappointed. Everything is their choice, much like everything I do is my choice. But when a rider chooses to take those gifts and let into their skin, they then have an opportunity to be much more than they though they could. They have an opportunity of taking the gifts of grit, courage and opportunity.

They can then share that with others if they so choose.

We are surrounded by offers of gifts. Be very specific on what ones you choose to take and those that you are happy to say Thank you but, No, Thank you to. Choose only the gifts that will serve you and ultimately help you to grow and flourish. Be grateful for all of them, even the ones you choose not to take, as they show you how you sense of self is boundless.

I can only hope that you see this, as a gift of curiosity and compassion. No problem for me if you choose not to see it that way and let the words pass you by. Your choice. I'm cool with that

Lots of love...

Sleep. Oh, how I love the feeling after a hard days work and falling into bed exhausted.

I must say, I am lucky that as a rule sleep is not something that eludes me. The middle of the night is often my creating time.

I have found that the skill required to manage my thoughts during sleep have become hugely beneficial during the day. When I am needing to focus on one specific outcome, I am able to adjust what is happening in my mind so that only thoughts related to what I am currently doing come to mind. I am able to do this because I practice at night, and have become quite effective at it.

It didn’t always happen that way. I was a classic over thinker, and often in the middle of the night I was blindsided by emotions (which are only responses to thoughts), and worries.

Thankfully, I have since learnt a few tricks which I would like to share with you.

Being able to manage our thoughts takes practice, it is like any other muscle and why not build that muscle while sleeping.

You may have experienced yourself that feeling of waking up at 3am in a state of panic after a bad dream, beginning the looping patterns of replaying past events, or worrying about an event in the near future.

What if you were able to change the thoughts replaying in your mind to ones that will serve you AND do it easily? The best part of this process is that once you change your thoughts to resourceful ones sleep comes naturally and easily afterward.

The biggest thing to tell yourself is that thinking these thought in a negative frame over and over again are not serving you or your outcome. Lacking sleep won’t help either so the best thing you can do to help you get out of the perceived challenge is to try on a few new options.

Notice the thoughts that are replying over and over.

Look at them in 3rd person as though you are looking through another set of eyes mind reading your thoughts. The act of seeing them simply as thoughts, much like those bubbles that pop up in cartoons allows you to mentally detach giving them less power over you.

Then you have an opportunity to decide if they are ones you would like to keep, or would they be better off let go by. Many of our worries are not true, have never been true and will not come true. They are just made up jumble in our minds with bits and pieces of all sorts of past and perceived experiences. When we see them in 3rd person as such, we can just smile at them and say goodbye.

Play with the image of the thought.

This is one of my personal favourites, and hugely effective with children. When you notice a thought and decide you would rather not replay it over and over in your head, change a few things you notice about the image you are visualising as you think about it.

First notice the colour, how far away the image is, are you in the image, or looking through your own eyes? Are the colour vivid and bright, or dull. Is it a moving image or still?

Then play with changing that image. Change the colours. Move the image further away. Add in random objects.

For example you find yourself thinking about an uncomfortable conversation with somone. Practice seeing it in your favourite colour, have a road runner scoot through the scene, or see Elvis dancing. Imagine it several times until you can can play the scene backwards and forwards quickly and easily with the added objects etc. It sounds a bit nuts but works incredibly well if you are willing to give it a red hot go

Next time it comes up in a dream, add you chosen objects and be amazed by the power you have in your unconscious thoughts.


An example of this for children is when my daughter had nightmares of a karate kangaroo coming to get her. This may not seem scary to us as adults but it was very real and terrifying to her at the time. We decided to change the dream and add a few images to it.

First, we gave the kangaroo a big fluffy scarf with a pink flowery hat, a fat tummy and boxing gloves with laces that kept tripping him up. Then we added a conversation where Charlotte asked the kangaroo if her can teach her some karate. We practiced this by having Charlotte imagine the dream just before bed, and really describe everything she was feeling. To a point where she was feeling scared.

Then we changed the image to the one we had come up with and noticed how her emotional state changed. We practiced this a few times to where she could change her emotional state at will simply by changing the image.

Charlotte never had any trouble with the karate kangaroo after that. When the dream came, even while still sleeping she could change the image to where she was being taught karate by the kangaroo and then fell back into a restful sleep.

I have done this with many children who were having trouble with nightmares and changed the images of many scary creatures leading to much happier and brighter children.

This is such a wonderful skill to develop in a child. In order to change the image the children need to accept that they CAN change the thoughts and images coming from their minds. Knowing this gives them so much power. They are able to decide what they are going to focus, and how that are going to feel when perceived negative experiences come up through the day.


Gratitude.

It doesn’t matter what proverb or great thinker you look into or how far back you go in history, gratitude is something that is highly prized and practiced amongst the most successful people in the world. Such a simple subtle shift can change everything.

Begin by thinking about what you currently have that you are grateful for. The more emotion you can bring to this the better. Take some time to fully experience this gratitude. It actually takes practice to experience gratitude fully

Instead of thinking of what you are lacking, think about what you want instead. Fully imagine yourself having what you need. This is sleep time, where you can create anything you want.

One of my favourite things to do is as I put my head on the pillow is to create tomorrow as “my perfect day”. Some days I go crazy and imagine things far beyond my wildest dreams all happening on one day, and other nights I am a bit more realistic and imagine everything I am wanting to achieve all going to plan, and then there ones in between. Rarely, do I get to the end of the day. I am usually happily sound asleep by mid morning in my imagined day.



Place your thoughts into a metaphoric old string bag beside the bed.

If you are feeling like you don’t want to get rid of your problems but really need to sleep, you can imagine putting your troubles into a string bag beside the bed to pick up again in the morning. Tell yourself that you will pick up your troubles in the morning and go forward and solve them tomorrow.

Ask for guidance.

This may come across as a little spiritual, but whether you believe in a god, a higher self, a buddha or nothing it is a great opportunity to ask your unconscious to look for answers to your frustration overnight. Say aloud, ( or in you mind if you don’t feel conformable talking aloud) I am asking for guidance. Please help me find a solution to …… Please help me find a way to …..

State these in the positive. They need to be what you are wanting, NOT what you don’t! Re read this sentence. There is no point telling of your troubles, you are only interested in solutions

The idea is to say to your unconscious mind, please find this solution while I sleep. I will relax and let you do what you do best.

More often than not the solution will pop into your head though the night or in the morning. Who knows where it came from. It does not really matter. Just trust your inner guidance.

Move from your head space into your body.

This is an old school trick which we forget sometimes. It is highly effective, and quite relaxing. The trick is catching your self when you move away from your body, into your head and start overthinking. Bring your awareness back to the body. In the beginning you may need to do this many times. I can promise you, if you do this on a consistent basis, it gets very easy.

There are many techniques to do this. I’ll to give you a couple to help you get started.

Floating water.
Imagine your self in a bath that is slowly being filled with warm water. Feel the sensation of the aromatic liquid slowly moving up your body. Do this very slowly and visualise it as you are bring awareness to each body part as it is enveloped by the water. Notice how each muscle relaxes as you do so.

Tingles.
Starting at your toes, feel a slight tingling sensation moving gradually up your body. Do this  so purposefully that you notice all the intricate details of your body. For example when beginning at the feet, notice each toe, the hollow of your arch, the back of your heel, the soft insides of the ankle itself, the wrinkles at the back….etc. The slower you do this, and more awareness you can bring to your body the better this will work.

In both these examples, I find I rarely get past my knees and I am already asleep. However earlier on, I had to work quite hard to keep attention on my body. This has since became effortless even when I am anxious.

Personally, I practice either one of these or other techniques I have every night. It may only be for 1 or 2 minutes but it has truly been a game changer for me in regards to strengthening my resilience and mental game. My clients also practice these methods and love not only the better nights sleeps but enjoying those times when they are awake.

When you can relax and enjoy those few moments that you wake in the night and use them for your own potential and creation, they have a meditative energy to them allowing your body to continue to renew while you create the life you desire. So much fun!

I look forward to hearing how you go with these strategies. If you would like some more personalised to you, get in touch and we can get that happening.

Sleep tight
xxx

The big P - Procrastination. We've all done it at some point. Avoiding the thing that we really should be doing by finding excuses to be doing something else.

Whether you are avoiding doing your tax, starting a particular young horse, cleaning out the tack room or making an important decision, it is pretty obvious that unless something changes, nothing is going to change.

So why wait for something outside of your control to change for you to take action. There is no point looking externally for the green light . What is external to you is not the problem, it’s your internal state we need to modify.

We need to change our thinking.

The first step is to know why you are wanting to do that which you are procrastinating on “X”. What will it give you in the long run. What else will occur because you have done “X”. Look past the actual action, and see it as part of a bigger picture. How does this fit into your overall plan for your life, and how will it affect those that you love.

When you can see the action as a small part of something much bigger it is easier to find ways of overcoming the perceived difficulties. Simply the action of thinking about “X” having being already achieved allows your subconscious to accept the fact that it is possible and attainable. It will throw less resistance at you, and allow ideas and solutions to come into your awareness instead.

The next thing is to stack massive pain to not taking action.

If we are comfortable in not doing “X” there is no real drive to move out of that state. We might say we want to, or we would like to, or it would be good if we did, but it doesn’t get you to I MUST!.

I must….is where you need to be in order to move from procrastination to action.

Think of it this way, do you remember a time in high school when you had to do a major assignment, and you kept procrastinating on it. Then you realised that it is due tomorrow and if you don’t get it in your overall mark will drop by 25% which could possibly prevent you getting into university. You have created so much pain that NOT taking action on doing the assignment, that you are driven towards doing it. Which when you did, you realised it really wasn’t that hard after all.

It’s like loading the dishwasher. When we are sitting on the couch, knowing that we should unload the dishwasher, but quite comfortable where we are, we are not really driven towards doing it. After all, it really isn’t that bad. But as the night gets on and we get up from the couch, ready for bed and look at the bench, we realise that if we don’t do it, the kitchen will stink in the morning, and all the food will be stuck on the plates and harder to get off. We decided it is easier to quickly do it now, then the pain of waking up to it in the morning. In no time at all the kitchen is cleaned up and ready to go. We simply stacked the pain to not doing it.

You see, we will do more to avoid pain then we will to gain pleasure. So one of the best ways to move out of procrastination is to link massive pain to NOT taking action towards “X”

If you can look at not taking action from a point of view of where will I be if don’t do this? How is not doing “X” causing me so much frustration. How is not doing this, causing me to not do other things. What else am I missing out on if I continue to avoid this. This process should feel uncomfortable, if it doesn’t, it wont drive you

Make sure that you only think of the pain around not taking action.

Steer clear of phrases that say I am bad/stupid/useless, I am such a ….. That won’t help. This exercise is designed to link pain specifically to actions, not to us. There is a very clear difference between us and our behaviors.

Think of a small child who does something wrong. Let's say for example sake, he stole something. It is important that the child understands he is not bad. He is a loved, wonderful and courageous child who made a bad choice. Choices can be changes instantly, and there are many choices at any given time. Next time, he has an opportunity to make a better one. That is all.


The same goes for you. You are great, you are awesome, you are compassionate, loving, driven and strong, There are actions that you are avoiding that are causing you huge amounts of pain right now (really stack that pain), but you know that you need to do this as it fits into your bigger plan (stack the gains of achieving this goal)

Because of this you will be motivated towards doing what it is that needs to be done. Visualise having achieved “X”. Feel the emotion that will come up for you when you are feeling grateful that it is done.

Each time you do this process, you will find it easier and easier.

It is like any muscle that we use when riding, we need to use it consistently and to a point of threshold in order for it to grow in strength.

Create enough pain
Have a big enough why,
Then you will find the how

As some of you may know, I am currently in China running coach training and assessments as well as helping clubs find a great business model that works for them.

One of the biggest blocks both coaches and clubs have to greatly improving, is their excuses. The biggest one - This is how we do things in China.

Well I'm sorry, but that just doesn't cut it with me. That is limited thinking as while ever that is believed, change is impossible.

Let me tell you about a recent experience I had, and the power of changing simply our thinking.

When I am working with a new club, the first few days are spent observing, asking questions, being curious and getting to know all the personel involved in the running of classes, as well as coaching to get a true feel of what it is like in the arena. It gives me an idea of the culture of the club, as well as begins to develop rapport with those who I am ultimately serving. It also give me time to develop a picture of where there a problems, and what are their strengths.

One particular club, I noticed the coaches were unwilling to move more than a few metres away from the clients, so did very few activities, exercises or games. Most was done on the lunge or with coaches running along side, even when the older more experienced riders were riding independently in  the arena, the children and coaches both seemed bored and uninspired. However, I could tell the coaches genuinely liked working with the kids but I could sense some frustration.

As I got talking with the coaches, I became aware of some limited thinking. The coaches were unwilling to encourage the riders to go out alone, or participate in games, as the parents, who were always watching wanted the coaches to stay alongside and keep the children safe. I don't disagree with that in the beginning, children need to be safe, secure and effective before being asked to ride independently, however this was simply downright boring and many kids were totally disinterested and unengaged.

I asked the coaches, "Who educates the parents in the process of how children learn, and what skills are required to ride a horse?". "No one", they replied. "So how do they know what you should be doing in the lesson" I asked. "They don't know, they just want to see their children trotting and making progress" they replied. "So what happens, if you do an exercise that involves picking up objects, or going around bending poles?" I asked. "They get angry" They replied "Ok, so just so I am clear. The parents believe learning to ride involves trotting in circles on one rein continuously. I am correct"? "Yes" They replied. "And even with all you coach training, you listen to the advice of those who know absolutely nothing about horses or riding"?. With their heads lowered, "Yes" they replied, "But that is how we do things in China. If the parent are unhappy, they don't pay"

You can see there in lies a problem. I decided to write a pamphlet that was given to parents when they booked their children in for lessons, with a brief note on what will be involved in their children learning to ride, including exercises, games and group activities. I outlined the benefits, and described in detail the purpose and outcome for each exercise. It stated the progressive steps in skill development necessary to become an effective rider, and gave the parent more clarity around why games and enjoyment and engagement were necessary for young children.

I also designed 4 levels of skill development cards, each with 20 skills that would be marked of with a star as they were achieved, and gave each child one to bring to lessons so they can see their progress.

I also educated the coaches in the skill development progression, gave them exercises and games for each level and helped them to fully understand how to slowly move from high dependence on the coach, to independence, and how to know when a rider is to move onto the next step.

The coaches were genuinely interested and inspired to do something different in the arena, and with the parents now wanting the coaches to do more interesting things in order for their precious little people to gain each levels skills development card, the coaches now had more opportunity for creativity and imagination in the arena. I also made sure they were able to describe to the parents what they were doing and why at the end of each lesson, as to further educate the parents, and develop trust in the coaches abilities.

Within two days, everything changed. The parents began laughing as the children were trying new things and enjoying themselves, the coaches energy changed to a more positive and progressive response, the children made HUGE advances in the riding, and the arena had a feeling of fun and growth.

The owners of course were very happy as in two days, parents began booking lessons in blocks of 10, and taking out yearly memberships. Their profits dramatically increased.

The only thing ultimately that changed, is we threw out the excuse of "That is how we do it in China" and created a new motto, in "This is how we do it here"

So what's your excuse?

My interpretation of a hot seat is a rider who tends to influence horses in such a way, that quick, forward movement and somewhat erratic behaviour is seen as the norm, and is possibly encouraged.

In my discussions with riders who are aware of their tendency to have a hot seat, are willing to own that they love a horse to move forward positively and with energy.  The want to horse to take them boldly forward and like a strong contact. They would prefer an overly forward horse, to a lesser moving and energetic one, even if that forward is seen as over the top, dangerous or difficult to ride.

There are two ways I like to look at what has created the hot seat in the first place;

1. The physical tendency of a rider to use their aids quickly, sharply and with an expectation of the horse to react immediately

2. The emotional response of the rider where there is a positive gain from being seen to sit on a horse that is difficult to ride, or strong.

"A rider who believes they have a hot seat will always have a hot seat until they decide that another way of asking for a horse to go is preferable.

But once the rider decides they no longer want to have a hot seat, it can be changed instantly"

The rider will only be able to physically change how he uses his body, when he consciously changes what his outcomes are. When a rider stacks more pain to the hot seat, and more pleasure to a calm, secure and centred seat, the unconscious brain will start to learn the strategies to move the rider towards the calmer seat.

You see our brain can only take on approx 7 chunks of information at any one given time, but we are bombarded with millions of pieces of information coming at us. What 7 chunks we pay attention to and notice from all those millions of chunks are those which our brain has been conditioned to think is most important. It will quite literally delete a whole bunch of stuff, which never gets to our awareness simply because it has been told not to notice them as they are not important. Nuts huh!

Up to now, the unconscious brain was only taking in information telling the rider that he needed to be stronger and more dominant. It then deleted the times when the horse showed signs of wanting to relax and settle. The unconscious part of the brain simply didn't let those signs through, so the rider didn't notice the opportunity offered by the horse. The unconscious brain thought it was not important enough to show you.

If you were to look around your room now for 15 seconds and look at all the things in there that are brown. Now shut your eyes.....and say all the things you noticed that were green. Your brain would say Huh...you only told me to notice the brown, I couldn't take all of it in. You said to only pay attention to the brown.

And that my friends is how the Reticular Activation System works. It's is what helps us learn, and kept us alive as a species for thousands of years. It's really useful most of the time, unless we are telling it to focus on the wrong things.

Let’s look at how having a hot seat could have been encouraged to begin with. Let’s say a rider who has moved on from the beginner horse to a more advanced mount, perhaps that horse showed some signs of being difficult to ride. If a young rider is acknowledged positively for managing a difficult horse while they were younger, they may associate riding a difficult horse with positive emotions.

Therefore they may encourage difficult behaviour to create ……. amongst their family or peers a sense of ability or talent.

I know many riders who continually have difficult horses that “play up” in the show ring or buck. But, when you look closely, that behaviour is encouraged. The riders have no idea they are doing it, it is simply a learned response from patterns gone by that have created positive reinforcement to the difficuilt horse.

The unconscious thoughts are so subtle, they don't ever register,  but to the horse, the aids are not.

In order to change the behavior, we first must look at what created the thinking in the first place.

"If the rider genuinely wants to change,
they will need to be willing to look inside of themselves for answers"

They will need to decide whole heartedly that encouraging a new way of going for the horse is both beneficial and possible.

Until the rider is willing to look at whether that behaviour in their horse is working towards the goals they want, they may never find the success they are craving.

When the rider decides to focus on and notice new patterns in the horse, and genuinely see them as important, the unconscious brain will show you those moments that you would have otherwise missed, then the body will follow instantaneously to accomodate a new way of going.

Here are few questions to ask your self to experiment with this concept

What patterns do you notice that seem to be a consistent frustration in your life?
What things are being show to you on a consistent basis?
What reward or gain may you have experienced in the past from that action?
Why do you no longer want to experience that action?
How would you prefer it to be?
Why do you want to change?
What do you need to notice more of to get closer to what it is you want to experience?
Then allow you subconscious to show what you have been missing out on.

 If you would like to delve a little deeper and work with me personally on a current frustration then get in touch.

Have fun,
Annyka xx

I was talking with my personal coach yesterday. We've been working on some big business goals I have this year, and was feeling a little deflated in that I hadn't progressed as much as I would have like to by now.

Annie (my personal coach) mentioned that it might be a good time to look at where I have come and what were my goals back in early November. Well, to be honest it gave me a it of a shock. Things that were a problem back then wern't even on my radar anymore. I had moved so far past them that I forgot I had even had them in the first place. WOW, wasn't that an eye opener. What I thought was an issue now, would have been seen as unobtainable or not even possible in November. Had I seen my problems now, back in November I would have seen them has huge successes...nuts!

We also looked at my many of my business goals, and what I found that as the business had grown, so had my problems, but in a good way. It wasn't that I didn't have problems, it was that they were much better quality problems, ones that I could solve, and ones that could only have come about by growing to where I was.

She reminded me that we will always have something to solve, something to strive for but in order to grow we need to come up against obstacles, it is necessary to have them otherwise I would just stay where I was in a kind of unsettling comfort.

I realised how much I have come in being aware of my thoughts, and how the tiniest what seems like the quietest thought will always affect my actions. The biggest thing I now practice and am so grateful to have learnt is the ability to be able to choose what thoughts I will give power to through awareness, and what ones I let slide by and move on into the great never never without me giving them the attention they were craving.

Through consciously choosing which thoughts are ultimately serving me, and what thoughts I need to have, to be the person I need to be, to change my outside world, I am able to change how I feel about almost every situation and what action I will take. It is like I am finally learning how to create the world I want to live in as opposed to trying to manage a world I have no control over. Do I get it get it right every time? Hell NO, but even having awareness around when I don't get it right and being OK with that is a HUGE step.

Overall, the biggest takeaway from the last three months of working with my coach, is that in order to grow your outside world, you must first grow your internal world. What successes I achieve are only based on my internal self, and how I choose to respond to almost every situation, both internally and externally. I have the power to choose each and every action I take, and then own those actions.

I don't know anyone who "has it alltogether". In fact the most successful people I have met are constantly working through struggles, pressure and stress to ultimately grow there ability to handle more struggle, pressure and stress. That doesn't mean they are not happy, in fact they are crazy happy because they are so aware that have chosen this path, and knowing that you are choosing to lean into fear, means that you are choosing to lean into success as well.

They are grateful for the stress, it means success to them. They are simply really good at managing it. Not through hiding it, numbing it or ignoring it but bringing awareness to it and being grateful for it.

What a wonderful place to be...
Until next time xxx